We love you Mommy (Grammy)... this whole concept of you not being here (in the flesh) hasn't really set in yet. It's unreal. I fear the day that I actually realize and accept that I can't feel your embrace again. Meaghan & I decided that we're just gonna tell ourselves that you're at work - that's much easier to grasp. One more kiss,one more hug,one more "I love you",one more caress of your face & hair,one more hand squeeze... God, what I wouldn't trade to just experience any one of those... I will forever leave the messages from you on my answering machine just so I can hear your voice. I feel your presence daily. And want to thank you for the abundance of love, strength and will for life that you showered us with. Thank you also for being so unselfish to endure your pain and discomfort long enough to get through the holidays. I know you did that for us. Please remember... "Angel came about you onlooking"... Now you are my angel and oh how I pray that you are onlooking and protecting us. I love you more than any letters or words can ever express. I pray for the day that we meet again... I can hear your voice telling me that you're much better off and I should wipe away my tears... but it would feel so much better if you were still here to wipe them away for me. Lord Jesus please give me the strength to cope with my tremendous pain. I just want to wake up from this nightmare....
